Saturday, October 30, 2010

Abandoned Child - Yes? - No?

I think this post warrants its own space and I'll write another today to show my knitting progress.

I've never been accused of "minding my own business".  Of course, I have at times as after all I did go through a divorce.  However, I will often "speak up" and then think that perhaps I may have put myself into a situation that could have gotten out of hand and my safety might be in jeopardy.

So, today I was out the door before daylight to take my car to the garage.  When done, I had a craving for a chocolate-glazed donut so I went through the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts.  All of a sudden, I saw a very young child, perhaps about 3 years old, getting out of a car to walk, perhaps run, across the very crowded parking lot.  There was no adult in site near this beat-up car.  I stopped my own vehicle and watched, perhaps scaring the child as he tugged at the door to close it again.

Now, I get infuriated when someone leaves their dog in a hot car and though it is now currently quite cold in Vermont, I still felt anger that a child had been left alone in an unlocked car, not that a locked car would have been that much better but certainly would have delayed a possible snatching.

I parked my car (again), walked into the overcrowded glassed-front donut shop and walking to the long line of folks I loudly asked,  "whose child is that?" as I pointed in the direction of the car in question.  Everyone said, "not my child".  I walked over to the seated area and asked again, "Whose child is that?"  Everyone again said the same thing.  I looked towards the rest room hoping someone would come walking out and want to claim this child.  No one!!!  So, in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, I said, "Well, I guess I am just going to have to call the police!"...hoping someone would man-up, or woman-up.

I returned to my car, thinking perhaps this child had been abandoned, called the police and waited and watched and watched.  Finally, a non-chalant coffee-carrying man walked to the car at which time I informed him I had just called the police and told him why.  As I spoke I noticed that the look in the child's eyes was terrifying and in my most comforting voice I said, "It's ok, honey, it's okay."

"I was concerned about your child, very concerned about your beautiful child", I told the man.  His reply was "Oh, he knows to watch for cars!"  I wanted to remind him that this child would have had absolutely no defense against someone snatching him, etc.

He did agree to wait for the police to respond to my call.  When they arrived they obviously recognized his name because I heard the man say, "yes, the police were at my house the other night!".  (Wonder why??) 

If nothing else, the father will be fined for not having a car seat in the car for this child.  Now, really!!!!  someone who would leave such a young child unattended in a car could probably care less about having the required car seat in the vehicle. 

Obviously, this so-called father did not want to lose his place in line at the donut shop and is the reason he didn't speak up when I asked who the parent was.  Perhaps he thought I would just go away.  Not me!!!!

So, on that note....have you seen the TV program, "What Would You Do?"  It's a modern day version of "Candid Camera" that show people who step up to the plate to help a stranger (actors)in need.  Very heartwarming!

14 comments:

  1. I'm glad you were brave enough to confront him. Sounds like he either didn't care or didn't think he had done anything wrong since he agreed to wait for the police to arrive. Renate

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  2. Perhaps the adult is beyond learning anything, but hopefully the child learned that there are caring adults in this world.

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  3. Hooray for you!! I would have done the same thing. In fact, I'm going to keep my eyes open for this kind of abuse. We are getting into a crazy time of year when anything goes. My friend just had her purse stolen and you wouldn't believe how many people responded to the fact that theirs were stolen also around this time of year (including me a few years ago). We have to live defensively these days and watch out for the little ones.

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  4. No question---you did the absolute right thing. What was he doing out with that child at that hour anyway? Why couldn't he have brought in the child with him?

    This is not a case of "minding your own business"; this is a case of being concerned for a child's safety and well being. Now if only the father would do that.

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  5. Yay for you standing up for the child... That is really sad about the fathers reaction or I should say non reaction. As a parent, that breaks my heart that someone could just walk away and leave such a young child alone. Where is this persons common sence? A 3 year old knows to watch for cars?? Seriously?? What if a pretty butterfly caught his attention? Or a cat/dog?? That child could have run head on into a moving vehicle. Its good that you stood up for the child. :)

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  6. I can't believe this. I feel so bad for that child... what a horrible parent!

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  7. Good for you! I would have done the same thing. For the past 3 wks., there's been some nut driving around in a white van trying to apprehend young children while they're walking to or from school. He's tried this about 10 times & hasn't been successful yet. He's fearless & determined to grab a child & the police have yet to get him. It's crazy. Thanks for taking care of minding your own business...helpless individuals are our business.

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  8. Let's just hope this second call goes on record. I called police for a mom who slapped her child in the face and was abruptly told by a social worker that all was okay they had visited her house after my call. Then what? Let's hope something good happens and you did the right thing here. I hope everyone who reads your post will realize the importance of speaking up. It may save a life. Thanks for sharing!

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  9. Bravo for you! I used to hesitate about such things..."should I, or shouldn't I", but not these days. I have learned to speak up. Better safe than sorry!

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  10. Wow, bravo to you for speaking up!!! I probably would have also called children's services later. Feel so sad for that child...

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  11. Joan, a similar situation recently happened to me, a 5 year old was left unattended after school. The mother proceded to ream me out because I called the school on her. I repeated to her that it was NOT OK FOR A 5 YEAR OLD TO BE LEFT ALONE (and this was NOT the first time it has happened). Our other neighbors stood by passively (which I take as indirect agreement) while she bitched that I called the school on her. Shame on the neighbors too! One of them works for DCF. I am tired of blind eyes! These are children!!!! If their parents are incompetent, SOMEONE should stand up for them!!!!

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  12. What Would I Do !? The absolute same as you. I'm with you on this one Joan. The only difference would have been the stream of blood dripping down my chin as I kept from biting my tongue !!! That poor child.

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  13. You absolutely did the right thing. Having watched my brother go through a custody fight with a mentally ill ex-wife who was physically abusive to both him and the children, he needed to document document document, and you just helped document on record the kind of parent this man was. The good parent (I hope there is one!) needs witnesses.

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  14. Good for you, we need more people to be brave and do the right thing. It's sad that there are parents who do not understand the gravity of parenting.

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